As Franklin Roosevelt put it, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”

Too often, we assume that strength means being fearless. But neuroscience tells a different story. Our brains are wired with survival circuits—deeply ingrained systems designed to detect and respond to danger. These ancient mechanisms once helped our ancestors avoid physical threats. Today, they activate in response to modern challenges—difficult conversations, career decisions, moments of vulnerability. Fear, then, is not a flaw. It’s biology doing exactly what it was designed to do.

But what if we stopped seeing fear as an obstacle and instead recognized it as an opportunity? 

That familiar surge of anxiety—the hesitation before speaking, the doubt before taking a risk—might not be a warning to stop. It might be an invitation to step up. Research shows that over 40% of men admit that fear holds them back—from better relationships, greater meaning in life, and from getting past their fathers’ patterns. Maybe fear isn’t a barrier. Maybe it’s a sign that we’re on the edge of something meaningful.

Neuroscience reveals that fear isn’t just a fleeting feeling—it’s an intricate process where our brains predict, interpret, and react to potential threats. These signals are often shaped by our past experiences, but they don’t have to define our future choices. What if, instead of avoiding fear, we leaned into it? What if we saw each moment of discomfort not as something to escape, but as the very thing that strengthens us?

One way to do this is through fear-setting, an exercise popularized by Tim Ferriss. If you’ve got five minutes grab a piece of paper and try this: 

1. Define Your Fear – Write down the specific fear that’s holding you back. What’s the worst thing that could happen if you faced it?

2. Prevent – List ways you could reduce the likelihood of that worst-case scenario happening.

3. Repair – If the worst did happen, how could you recover or fix it?

4. Consider the Cost of Inaction – What will your life look like in 6 months, 1 year, or 5 years if you don’t take action?

You might realize that the cost of staying stuck is far greater than the risk of taking action.

Think about the last time you faced something difficult—an honest conversation, a career move, a personal challenge. What if that moment wasn’t trying to stop you, but to push you toward growth? Courage isn’t about eliminating fear; it’s about moving forward despite it.

At EVRYMAN, we witness men transforming fear into a tool for growth every day. Each act of vulnerability compounds over time, turning what once paralyzed them into a source of strength and deeper connection with themselves and others.

If this got you thinking, join us for EVRYMAN Live next week, where we’ll hear from an extreme skier who mastered fear to become a world champion. What are you afraid of?

Insights

A Letter From EVRYMAN Co-founder Dan Doty. EVRYMAN co-founder Dan Doty is coming home to EVRYMAN. Read his powerful message on why now is the time. (6 minutes)

Masculinity & the Polycrisis. Men not growing up into mature adults is fueling a “polycrisis” of tangled systems, according to Matt Sturm, who unpacks how practical tools can bridge the gap between success and fulfillment. (28 minutes)

The Hidden Impact of Fear on Your Body. Fear can wreak havoc on your nervous system, leaving you overwhelmed and anxious. Discover the hidden impact fear has on your body and the secrets to regaining control. Find out how to restore balance and reclaim your calm. AskMen (4 minutes)

How fear holds you back. Ever wondered how fear might be silently protecting you from the struggle that yields life-changing lessons? If you haven't yet pieced together how fear prevents you from reaping the benefits of failure, read what Alpha Sawdust has to say. (8 minutes)

Take Action

Learn more about EVRYMAN

Welcome to the new members of the EVRYMAN community: Bob B from Florida, Zach T from Illinois, Richard O from Colorado, Michael M from San Diego, Ian L from Idaho, and Chris L from South Carolina.

Man Memes