Most men have a lot of people they know: guys they grab a drink with, catch a game with, talk about work, sports, or the latest headlines. But if you’re like most men, you probably have far fewer guys you can actually get real with.

I’m talking about the men you can call and say, “Man, I’m not doing great right now,” without feeling judged… or the ones you can tell, “Something incredible just happened, and I need to share it with someone who will be genuinely happy for me,” without them secretly making it a competition.

Those calls are rare. And they’re priceless.

Why Real Talk Matters

We’re all carrying more than we let on. Stress about work. Doubts about whether we’re enough for the people who count on us. Regrets about the past. Confusion about the future. Sometimes it’s just the everyday grind that’s quietly wearing us down.

If you’ve been taught that the way to handle this is to “man up” and keep it all inside, here’s the truth: bottling it up doesn’t make you stronger. It isolates you. And isolation is where men break down.

Real talk isn’t about venting endlessly or wallowing. It’s about putting your cards on the table with someone you trust, so you can breathe again and get your bearings.

It Works Both Ways

A call with a trusted brother isn’t just about dumping your burdens. It’s also about celebrating your wins with someone who wants to see you win. That’s just as important.

Men often downplay their successes because they don’t want to seem arrogant. But hiding your joy is as suffocating as hiding your pain. The right friends are the ones who will clap for you, push you higher, and mean it.

Real talk means sharing both ends of the spectrum (the hard and the great) without filtering yourself to be “acceptable.”

Why We Avoid It

If this is so important, why don’t more men do it?

• Fear of Judgment: We worry that if others see us struggle, they’ll think less of us.

• Not Wanting to Burden Others: We tell ourselves everyone else is busy, so we keep our issues bottled up.

• Shame About Needing Help: We’ve been taught that asking for help is a weakness, so we don’t do it.

• Lack of Trust: We’ve been burned before, so we never confide in anyone.

The result? We keep it all inside, and it eats away at us quietly.

The Cure: Build Your “Real Talk” Circle

You don’t need dozens of men for this. In fact, you shouldn’t. What you need is a small circle: two or three brothers you know you can call, text, or sit down with when it matters.

Start by identifying the men in your life who:

• Listen without instantly trying to “fix” you.

• Don’t make your pain about them.

• Celebrate your wins without resentment.

• Can handle the truth without flinching.

If you don’t have those men right now, here’s the good news: they are out there, and EVRYMAN exists to help you find them—in a men’s group, on shared adventures, in communities where men go to connect without the masks. But you have to be willing to show up as yourself—not the polished version you think people want to see.

You Go First

One of the best ways to invite real talk into your friendships is to lead with it. Call a buddy and share something real (good or bad) without hiding behind humor or small talk.

You’ll be amazed at how often this opens the door for him to share something back. Men are starving for this kind of connection, but someone has to go first. Be that man.

What Happens When You Have It

When you have a circle of men you can be real with, a few things change:

• You stop feeling like you’re carrying the weight of the world alone.

• You make better decisions because you’re not operating in a vacuum.

• You bounce back faster from setbacks.

• You experience more joy because you can fully share it.

• You feel stronger—not because you don’t struggle, but because you don’t hide it.

A Challenge for You This Week

Think of one man you trust, and reach out to him this week. Don’t wait until you “need” to talk—just tell him what’s actually going on in your life, good and bad.

And if you’ve been meaning to check on a friend who’s gone quiet lately, now is the time. Don’t text, “We should catch up sometime.” Call him. Give him a space to get real.

Bottom line: real talk with other men isn’t optional if you want to be healthy, grounded, and strong. It’s the difference between being surrounded by acquaintances and having true brothers in your corner.

We need each other, and EVRYMAN is dedicated to helping you start building or expanding your circle of people you can get real with.

Insights

How Male Friendship Saves Lives: This Psychology Today piece lays out why strong male friendships aren’t just nice to have—they can be a literal lifeline. With only 27% of men reporting six or more close friends and 17% having none at all, the data shows a sharp rise in isolation that’s tied to higher risks of depression and suicide. The article urges men to initiate connection, share openly, and invest in a small circle of trusted friends who can hold both their struggles and their wins. A call to treat friendship as essential health care. (5 min read)

‘Men are not expected to be interested in babies’: How Society Lets New Fathers Down This feature from The Guardian exposes the gap in support for new dads, with around 1 in 10 experiencing mental health challenges during the perinatal period. Unlike mothers, fathers often have no formal check-ins for their emotional well-being, and social expectations push them to “stay strong” instead of seeking help. The piece urges systemic change and cultural shifts to include fathers in conversations about postnatal care, showing that caring for dads is caring for the whole family. (7 min read)

It’s ‘Therapy Bro Summer’: This New York Post article explores how therapy has become a cultural status symbol for men, fueled by shifting attitudes and dating trends. Celebrities and public figures are normalizing therapy, and surveys show that over half of Gen Z women won’t date men who refuse it. Therapy is reframed not as a last resort but as a sign of emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and relational strength. It’s a light, engaging look at how getting help is becoming a mainstream marker of modern masculinity. (4 min read)

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