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- How to say "I'm sorry" and really own it
How to say "I'm sorry" and really own it
Look them in the eye, name what happened, own your part.
Some skills every guy should have in his back pocket.
Starting a fire without a lighter is one of them. Because sometimes, life doesn’t hand you the easy way out. Batteries die, matches get wet, and you’re left with just you. Can you still make it work?
This isn’t just about rubbing sticks together to spark a flame. It’s about showing up when things get tough. It’s the grit to face a problem: a flat tire on a dark road, a hard conversation, or a moment where you’ve got to stand your ground. It’s about being steady, meeting someone’s eyes with confidence, or shaking their hand like you mean it. It’s knowing your worth and not letting someone else lowball it. And it’s about doing what’s right, not because it’s easy, but because it’s who you are.
Here’s something most of us didn’t learn growing up: how to say “I’m sorry.” Not just muttering the words or dodging with excuses. Really saying it. Owning it.
Because if you’re building real connections with your partner, your kids, your friends, you’re going to mess up. You’ll hurt someone, even if you didn’t mean to. And when that happens, what do you do?
Try this: Look them in the eye and name what happened. “I see I let you down, and that hurt you.” Own your part. “I said I’d be there, and I wasn’t. That’s on me.” No “buts,” no deflections, just the truth. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about showing you care enough to face the mess and rebuild.
Most of us didn’t get a manual for this stuff. I sure didn’t. But if you want to learn how to say “I’m sorry” in a way that’s real, here’s a place to start.
Insights
Why Doesn’t Success Bring Happiness? In this TED Talk, author Laura Gassner Otting explains why achievement often feels empty when it’s based on other people’s expectations. Climbing the ladder doesn’t work if it’s leaning on the wrong wall. Real fulfillment comes from aligning your goals with your values and choosing a definition of success that actually fits your life. A clear push to stop chasing what looks good and start pursuing what feels right. (12 min watch)
My Brother and I Haven’t Spoken in 4 Years. Can we Reconcile? This New York Times column explores a reader’s plea to mend a fractured sibling relationship after a family property dispute. Therapist Lori Gottlieb responds with a powerful reframe: reconciliation isn’t about proving you’re right, it’s about making the other person feel seen. She challenges readers to move beyond fairness and toward emotional recognition, especially when old family dynamics resurface. A moving reminder that healing starts when we shift from being heard to truly hearing. (4 min read)
How the Busiest People Find Joy: Research suggests that to have a satisfying life, you need to regularly feel three things: achievement (recognition or a sense of accomplishment), meaningfulness (a connection to something bigger than yourself), and joy (happiness or positive emotion) in the moment. (6 min read)
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EVRYMAN Open Source Retreat - Joshua Tree National Park | October 3-5
This Open Source in Joshua Tree is a three-day retreat to slow down, get honest, and reconnect with yourself. You'll be out in the desert with a group of men, doing real work through conversation, shared challenges, and reflection. Walk away with more clarity, stronger connection, and a reset you can carry forward.
⏩ Limited Availability. Save your spot here.
EVRYMAN Expeditions - Great Smoky Mountains National Park | November 6-9
This Expedition in the Great Smoky Mountains is a four-day retreat designed to get you out of your head and into your body—through guided hikes, horseback riding, time around the fire, and in nature. Set during peak fall color, it’s a chance to slow down, connect with other men, and reset in one of the most awe-inspiring landscapes in the country.
⏩ Limited Availability. Save your spot here.
EVRYMAN Direct Source Retreat | Texas Hill Country | December 4-7
This Direct Source Retreat in Texas Hill Country is a four-day experience for men ready to move from awareness into mastery. Built for those who’ve already attended Fundamentals or Open Source, this advanced retreat goes deeper through guided adventure, somatic practices, emotional work, and powerful group connection. Set on 200-plus acres of rugged, regenerative land, it’s an opportunity to shed the masks, step into your strength, and walk away with real tools for leading a more grounded life.
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