Most guys oscillate between hustle culture and burnout recovery—an exhausting pendulum. Yet three of history's greatest wisdom teachers discovered something we've largely forgotten: sustainable momentum doesn't come from extreme effort, but rather from finding the perfect harmony for yourself and staying there. 

Aristotle's "golden mean" shows the way beyond just balance or simple moderation. He understood that each person's optimal velocity is uniquely calibrated to their nature and circumstances. What looks like balance for one may appear as excess or deficiency to another. The key isn't finding some universal formula, but discovering your personal point of equilibrium where energy flows. Also, “balance” implies that a strict trade-off is necessary; instead think in terms of “harmony”—it's less rigid and much more personalized.

Consider how this applies to our modern context: perhaps your golden mean isn't working 40 hours weekly (the conventional "balanced" approach), but rather intense focused work for three days followed by deep recovery for four, or maybe 3-4 hours of intense work every day of the week. The wisdom lies not in conforming to external standards of balance, but in assessing what creates sustainable forward motion in your life. Self awareness is the key. It will depend on your wiring, situation, age, etc. 

Philosopher Lao Tzu deepens this understanding with his paradoxical insight: "The softest thing in the universe overcomes the hardest thing in the universe." While Western productivity often emphasizes pushing through resistance, the Taoist perspective suggests that momentum builds most powerfully when we align with natural energy flows rather than battle against them. Like water carving canyons through persistent, gentle action, transformative momentum often comes not from force but from power (consistent, authentic presence).

Christ's teachings add another dimension. He advised being "wise as serpents and innocent as doves." This integration of opposing qualities—strategic wisdom with unburdened presence—creates a dynamic tension that propels forward movement. Being “all serpent” or “all dove” doesn’t give you an edge. Steve Jobs was great at harmonizing his intuition with his intellect, and often remarked that his intuition was his great advantage in a market crowded with intellect.

The revolutionary insight across these three wisdom traditions isn't that we should avoid extremes because they're somehow morally suspect or dangerous, it’s that they inevitably create their own resistance. The moment we push too hard, we trigger offsetting forces that undermine our progress.

The person who never rests eventually breaks down.

The one who indulges in excessive comfort atrophies.

The man who is always thinking and never feeling spends his life pushing boulders up hills.

The man who is always feeling and never thinking spends his life being abused by others. 

True momentum emerges when we find that sweet spot where effort and ease complement rather than combat each other. Think of different plants, some need lots of sun, some only a little. A plant in harmony blooms beautifully. 

In a culture obsessed with dramatic transformations and overnight success, perhaps the most profound truth is that world-changing momentum builds not through heroic bursts of willpower, but through the subtle art of natural harmony maintained over time.

Insights

Raise Them Before the Internet Does: Boys are being raised by screens, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Dr. Abigail Rue unpacks the emotional crisis facing young men today, showing why presence, not perfection, is what saves them. A rallying cry for fathers, mentors, and all men to step up before the algorithms do. (5 min read)

Waking Up From Woke: The Next Stage in Masculinity’s Evolution: Judson Kauffman charts a path beyond the culture wars, calling for a version of masculinity that fuses strength, vulnerability, and purpose. This isn’t about picking sides; it’s about integration. A raw, personal reflection on how men can reclaim wholeness in a divided world. (6 min read)

The EVRYMAN Podcast: Masculinity, Initiation, and Regulation with Mark Groves: Dan Doty and Mark Groves dive into masculinity, vulnerability, and personal growth, exploring the role of boundaries, community, and emotional regulation in men’s lives and relationships today. They reflect on cultural differences, the impact of technology, and the importance of initiation and healing in navigating modern manhood. (~1 hour listen)

Take Action

Learn more about EVRYMAN

Welcome to the new members of the EVRYMAN community: Will C from North Carolina, John P from Massachusetts, and Matt C from Washington.

Man Memes

Retro-virility

Exploring the rich visual history of masculine identity through artifacts of a bygone era…