“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure that you seek.”

The quote (by Joseph Campbell) was one that Jud Kauffman returned to throughout his life. He had the courage. He just had to tune into it.

Jud’s career spanned the military as a Navy SEAL and the business world as a serial entrepreneur. By the American metrics of success, he had done it all. But he still felt empty.

The pressure to succeed led Jud to his lowest moments. There were times when he couldn’t look at himself in the mirror. There were others when he even contemplated suicide.

But Jud, who is now EVRYMAN’s CEO, chose to enter the cave. He committed to emotional growth, which unlocked spiritual growth, and he found a way to stay connected to his authentic identity.

“If I stay connected to my spirit, and I let that guide me on my path,” he said, “then I won’t violate my integrity, I won't let my ego get back in the driver’s seat, and even if I fail economically or in business, I know I am on the right path.”

This was one of his observations during the EVRYMAN LIVE webinar last week where Jud shared his personal story. You can watch the whole thing here.

As we kick off this year’s season of EVRYMAN LIVE webinars, we wanted to share four insights that stood out to us from Jud’s talk:

1. On legacy: The pursuit of a legacy can be counterproductive, Jud said. The more we try to build a legacy, the more likely we are to destroy it. The surest way to a legacy is to serve others and create lasting change.

2. On knowing thyself: Jud took inspiration from Socrates, who said, “Know Thyself.” It might sound simple, but this is the most important journey of a man's life. It leads to self-acceptance, which leads to self-compassion, which leads to ultimate authenticity and self-confidence.

3. On the power of rites of passage: Jud sees rites of passage as psychological stage gates that shift our understanding of who we are. Such rites of passage are often overlooked in today’s society, but they can serve as portals into more extraordinary expressions of our potential.

4. On the root issue with many men: Jud saw this in his own life and in the lives of many men: they feel either empty, lonely, or stuck. It's because they’ve lost connection to their authentic identity. Finding that authentic identity can take a lifetime or a weekend, but it’s a path of healing, maximizing potential, and self-actualization.

There will be more EVRYMAN LIVE events this year. Stay subscribed to this newsletter so you don’t miss the next one.

Until then, consider how you can tune into your courage this week.

Insights

We live in an anti-social century, where Americans are now spending more time alone than ever. It’s changing our personalities, our politics, and even our relationship to reality. Americans spent even more time alone in 2023 than they did in 2021, and this is particularly pronounced amongst men, who spend more time alone than women. The Atlantic. (40 minutes)

Do you feel yourself slowing down? How to regain high energy levels after 50. Many men over 50 see declining energy as an unavoidable part of aging. But those symptoms aren’t caused by age—they’re the result of poor habits. Men at any age can regain energy by exploring the four dimensions of energy: 1) Physical energy, 2) Emotional energy, 3) Mental energy, and 4) Spiritual energy. Harder to Kill (17 minutes)

Kindness is linked to better physical health and longevity. According to researchers at Harvard’s School of Public Health, regularly volunteering and engaging in other acts of kindness can boost mental health, physical health, and longevity. Harvard (2 minutes). For more, check out this TED Talk on how to unlock the secret powers of tenderness.

The problems with optimizing your life. Our obsession with an efficient, optimized life is running us ragged. Worst of all, it might be counterproductive. Many of us have blurred the boundaries between living and working to the point where we’re not capable of spontaneity anymore. GQ (7 minutes).

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For men looking for love

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Welcome to the new members of the EVRYMAN community: Jason G from California, Ron P from Massachusetts, Howard G from California, Steve C from Washington, Giles M from New York, Jerry N from Arizona, and Ori H from New York.

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